What is Authentic-Influence?

Influence is becoming an unwelcome concept. The picture of someone being influenced evokes a picture of a lack of self-determination.

The fear of being influenced affects our sense of reality and our ability to trust our own judgments about what is true. Election hackers and commercial influencers have wildly different aims, but both contribute to the unreal, distrustful tenor of our times, in which a language of fakery, deception, and inauthenticity has become fundamental to how we interpret the world. - New Yorker Magazine

Do you want to connect with people and change the world? Do you want to influence your co-workers, friends, family while building lasting bonds? If yes, then this blog is for you. Before talking about influencing others, lets first talk about how we as human beings accept influence from people and the environment around us. Understanding how we accept influence, can help us not only filter out unnecessary influence, but more importantly help us become better influencers.

A friend comes to you with a request to borrow $10,000, to which you say no, only to turn around and ask for a smaller sum that you agree to give. A shoe store advertises a $25 pair of shoes in the window, however, when you walk inside the store, you are informed that the advertised pair of shoes is not available but a similar one is available for $45. You end up buying it. It’s Election Day and you weren’t planning to vote, but everyone in the neighborhood is wearing an “I voted” sticker, so you decide to get in the car to cast your ballot. What is happening here?

According to Herbert Kelman, the 3 ways we accept influence are Compliance, Identification and Internalization.

With Compliance, the individual adopts the induced behavior not because he/she necessarily believes in its content but because they hope to gain rewards or avoid disapproval. There are short term changes in behavior without changes in the underlying attitude. Forcing, tricking or manipulating people into acting a certain way takes advantage of the automatic human responses to certain triggers. Getting a child to comply with your request using scare tactics or a client to buy $45 shoes above when they walk in the store are examples of compliance leading to short term behavior changes.

During Identification, an individual performs the induced response due to the importance they give to the agent. In this case an agent is attractive to the individual due to their position or "being one of them", someone they can relate to. This is about changing attitudes or behaviors due to the influence of someone who is admired. You buy a shirt that you saw someone you admire wearing, ordering a drink you saw a celebrity talking about or buying an accessory you saw your favorite social media influencer wearing on Instagram.

Internalization happens when an individual adopts the induced behavior because it is congruent with her value system. Behavior adopted tends to be integrated with individual values and attitude. Power of an influencing agent is based on credibility, connection and message. Audience has to listen to the message, understand it, accept it, remember and then translate it into behavior. While the process of Compliance and Identification takes advantage of automaticity in human responses, there is more focus on elaborative thoughts during Internalization, which is about thinking about the message. These thoughts lead to deeper acceptance and lasting authentic change. This is Authentic Influence and creating this kind of influence is the goal of my blog.

Authentic Influence is about creating lasting change in attitudes/behaviors while building strong relationships between influencer and audience. There are no tricks and no manipulation for short term change or to serve short term goals.

So how do we change the world? We first have to change the world within. A manager walking in the meeting still seething from his conversation with his boss, will prevent him from connecting with his own team and making any lasting change. A dad walking in the son’s room with the intention of a monologue will result in that going in one ear and out the other. Something else has to happen before they walk in.

Authentic Influence starts with the influencer in a mindful state (internal state) which is about being and aware of themselves and the environment. Once in that state, the focus is on serving what matters to the audience. This includes an intention to understand and serve something bigger. Lastly, it is about creating and sharing a relevant message that aligns to the needs and emotions of the audience. The result is a resilient relationship, strong trust while creating an enduring change of attitude in the audience.